‘It is when I seem to be doing the least that I am doing the most.
Leonardo de Vinci
As you may have noticed, my writer self has not been visible on this page lately. Since the beginning of 2010, I have been in a place of deep introspection, contemplative listening: more being than doing, the nourishing nurturing space so vital to the core of my ‘ I AM~ness’. Scanning my favourite art book, I was encouraged recently as I reread Jeanne Carbonetti’s insightful description of her process that so closely mirrors mine.
“…the world goes into soft focus…when I am in the waiting cycle…paying attention to the slightest stirrings that guide me to the next step….the being in the world, but not of the world…. Had I been busily engaged in something productive, I may have missed those stirrings.”
And so it is and was for me, when the art above began to call forth, beckon, flow on to the page guiding me from within to paint it into life. I stared fascinated, bemused by the pattern splay; the moving into intention phase, bringing essence into clear focus.
The following dialogue began running through my awareness ~ I burst out laughing, tears running down my cheeks and I had to stop the paint flow and capture the wordage flow on paper.
“I am Brigid. Brigid the goddess of Inspiration”, she began. Ummmmm… Okay, I thought: I had placed that card on my desk top recently for several months. Good, inspiration was stirring within.
AND THEN THE YAMMERING BEGAN
~I soon began to think of her as ‘Sassy Assy’ rather than Goddess Brigid, as you may immanently understand~
(~~ at sentence beginning will indicate Brigid’s words )
Hey come on You, it’s time to stop this now!
~~Huh~ I ain’t’ stopping
I mean you gotta quit spreading your fire wings…its getting ridiculous…you’re almost off the page
~~So what’s the problem…who’s to say…
Well, I am. You’re going into an art show, and so you will be viewed as a work of art and you should be …
~~Should be what! I’m a work for anyone to judge!!! No way!
Who are you? What’s up….you’ve waited all these years to come to this moment and you are telling me not to spread my wings, not to take up all the space that surrounds me…
Well no, I guess…
~~Whadda you mean…you guess…. I don’t believe you! What happened to you!!
Well we kinda created this YOU… together right?
Well I only knew I was birthing something, ‘cause I felt so crappy for so long~ and then I sensed how close I was to this change within and … and I already knew what I was submitting to the International Women’s Day Art show! It was a done deal and…
~~And what !!!! I hadn’t appeared yet! ….so NO deal~!!
Well ummmmm…in my cauldron of mulling and fogginess of becoming ness ummm…ahhhh I just thought I’d play with paint…that creativity always feels good in the midst of my inner turmoil and then…
~~YAH and then….I SURPRISED YOU DIDN’T I~!!!!
Yah you did~ painted~ let it dry~came down the next day~and there you are staring at me~ Up heaving all my plans…
~~Hey you…Linda! …it’s like this…
~~if you are open to divine will, you are on the path of conscious living, willing to transform within and without…haha ~ what a word….within and out wardly….And then I am willing to allow you to paint me onto the page to show you what you are birthing i.e. Your INNER PHOENIX!!!!! What’s your problem with what I LOOK LIKE…~~!!!!!!
You’re gonna go through all this and then Give a Damn about what other people think about how I look!!!!! Seeding, gestating labouring and emerging IS MESSY work alright~~! There ain’t any other way…
~~And now that I am here, Lady….you bet I’m gonna spread my wings any which way I CHOOSE.
LOOK OUT WORLD HERE WE COME~!
Oh my jumping heavenly hosts, I silently mumbled, remembering the truth of the saying:
Be Careful What You Pray For~~